how do i say this without sounding insufferable?
i kind of hate Nantucket.
i have been in an unbelievable funk since i got here. i have tried to logic my brain out of this depression, which works most of the time these days, thanks to a well-worn and hard-won mental pathway that i can force myself down […]
from the ferry, the water looks like dark, opaque corrugated glass. the night before was hazy, foggy and humid, and as i drove onto the Cape early this morning, it started to clear. from the window that i sit at now, on my way to the island of Nantucket, i can see no land or […]
after too many years of fighting 18 wheelers on the Cross Bronx Expressway, i now taking a series of small parkways into Manhattan. starting somewhere up in Connecticut, from the Merritt to the Cross County to the Saw Mill to the Henry Hudson. all these highways in miniature, made twee by the lack of trucks. […]
i’ve been blogging in one form or another since 1999. my motivations for doing it have changed over those 10 years, from catharsis to ego-tripping to therapy to writing exercise. i realized recently that all the writing i’ve done here, so much of it terrible and chronicling terrible things, is the best gift i have […]
and now it’s Christmas eve, and here i am, trying to come down from the semester. the last two or three weeks have been particularly hard on me physically, and as it usually is with me, the mental fallout is a little time delayed. so it’s happening now. the anxiety has been leaking out of […]
i am jealous.
okay, this sounds like the oldest tale in the book of sibling relationships. i am jealous of her. it’s stupid that it took me nearly 29 years on the planet to not only figure this out that this is probably most of the root of the problems in our relationship.
what prompted this? she […]
school’s been swinging now for about three weeks. i have remained remarkably level-headed, almost detached, which is strange for a person who absolutely must be in the middle of everything and everyone at all times. i have been in new bedford for exactly two years now, and i think i’m already gone. i have the […]
on Friday, as Alek and i were driving back to his place, a memory suddenly surfaced, something i hadn’t thought about for a long time. i had been thinking about leaving, since i was flying back east the next morning.
“you know,” i said, “i don’t know what made me think of this, but during the […]
when i was in California, Alek and his boyf and i went to see (500) Days of Summer. i don’t go to the movies much, mostly because i live in an area that has no indie theaters, which pretty much all i would bother to see in the theatre anyway. i was mildly interested in […]
i was lucky enough to procure the use of a bike during the two and a half weeks i was in Davis. Davis is an unusually bike-friendly city, not only with bike lanes on every street, but also with dedicated bike paths that wind through many lovely areas, both on campus and off. i had […]